did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
