i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize