I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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