Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
