: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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