dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
