You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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