I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
