It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
