like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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