sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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