doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
