Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
