I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
