my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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