I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
