what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
