you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
