So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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