so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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