the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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