If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
