Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
