One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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