I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
