She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
