PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
