have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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