Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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