we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
