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this just has baby written all over it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
