i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
