I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
