11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
