That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
