Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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