she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
