Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
