i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
