Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
