she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize