Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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