I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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