I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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