I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
