On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
