yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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