Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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