My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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