Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
