my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we should paint friendship bongs
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
