remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
