Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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