"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
