How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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