My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
