Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
