I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
