Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
