So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
