Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
