i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
