Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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