it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
