oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
