the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
